


It Has to be You

by PokeChan



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Character Death, Kinda, M/M, no happy ending, wing fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-11-19
Updated: 2012-11-19
Packaged: 2017-11-19 01:43:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,266
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/567652
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PokeChan/pseuds/PokeChan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Lucifer's wings have been taken from him. He is nothing anymore. Not human. Not angel. He's lost everything.</p><p>He seeks out Sam.</p>
            </blockquote>





	It Has to be You

**Author's Note:**

  * For [thirtyspells (weatherveyn)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/weatherveyn/gifts).



> Tess made me do it.
> 
> Though, in all fairness, she only said "And now I want Lucifer with his wings ripped off" and I just kinda... ran with it. Oops.

They’re gone. All of them. Not even just broken or torn, but gone. Completely. Lucifer doesn’t remember how it happened, but his wings were rippedfrom him. He no longer has his wings. He is no longer an angel. He is no longer anything. His battle with Michael is lost to him. He is trapped in Nick’s body. He cannot bring forth the end of days. He can’t do anything. He has no reason to be. No reason or direction any longer.

He no longer has a purpose to live.

He is helpless. 

He can’t even kill himself. For, as mortal as he is now, he is still an angel at his core. And angels cannot end their own lives. No matter what. So, he does everything in his power to find those who will. 

He’s sure there are thousands – millions even – of beings that would end him without a second thought if given the chance. But he seeks out a certain end. One of his own, admittedly limited, choosing. If he is to die he will not wait around of something to come along and end him. He will seek out the only one worthy of taking his life.

Finding the Winchesters is never easy.

But, after several weeks of searching and conniving his way across the country, he finds them. He finds Sam. Lucifer is weary, broken, and tired. He waits for Sam to be alone. Eventually, Dean and Castiel leave, for what reason Lucifer doesn’t know or care. But as soon as Dean’s car is so far down the road Lucifer can no longer see it he moves. He makes his way into Sam’s room, not even knocking or announcing himself.

Sam is, of course, surprised. To say the least. He grabs a knife, the one that is able to kill demons in their stolen bodies. It would do nothing to him if he were himself. As it is now, however, it is more than enough to end him. He’s glad. 

Lucifer steps into the room, closing the door behind him. He knows it makes Sam feel trapped, cornered. He supposes any incentive to end him is good, though. Sam may find it hard once he’s said everything he has to say. He starts with what happened, what he remembers of it. Sam’s stance and face are guarded, but Lucifer can see the sympathy in his eyes. The hunter has spent enough time in Castiel’s company. Lucifer is sure Sam knows how important an angel’s wings are, at least well enough to know that their loss has wrecked Lucifer. There is less surprise than Lucifer expects to see when he asks Sam to kill him. Perhaps he knows better than Lucifer thinks. 

Lucifer moves closer and Sam tenses. “I’m sorry, Sam. I wish things were different,” he says. He looks into Sam’s eyes and tries to make the human understand. But all he sees is fear and mistrust.

Of course, Sam thinks it's a trick, but he's not going to pass up the chance to end Lucifer. He tightens his grip on the demon-killing knife and Lucifer moves in even closer, hands on Sam's shoulders. And he is struck by a flash of surprise that Sam has allowed him this close, allowed the angel to touch him. He takes the chance, before Sam stabs him, to lean in and say, "I want you to know that you were always loved by me."

Sam just freezes and stares at him. He knows Lucifer doesn't lie, not really. He can see the confusion on his face, the sudden hesitance. Lucifer just keeps talking, lets his head fall to rest on Sam's shoulder as he continues. "I felt it, when you were born. And I watched you grow up. My vessel. Your soul made for me. I watched. I watched you suffer and laugh and grow. I wanted to be beside you the whole way - comfort you and praise you where your father didn't, where Dean wasn't enough. I've loved you ever since the beginning, Sam. When you prayed, I heard you. I remember every word. I’ve only ever wanted to grant you those prayers. I want to give you the happiness you deserve."

Sam's just standing there, in total shock, because something about all of this is ringing so very true - like he knew he was being watched over his whole life. He should be driving the knife in his hand through Lucifer. Right now. He and Dean have been working for his ever since Sam was stupid enough to let Lucifer free. And now, here he is, knife pressed against Lucifer’s stomach, sure that it will do the trick.

And now that Lucifer's said this he can't bring himself to push the knife through Lucifer's gut and end him. He can't. This being loves him - always has. Sam knows it, he can feel the truth of it all ring through him, down to his soul. He's watched over Sam his whole life and he just can't kill him.

Sam starts to shake his head, hand holding the knife to Lucifer's stomach falling away. "I can't" he chokes out. "I can't do this."

Lucifer looks up at him, eyes pleading. "Please Sam, do this. It has to be _you_." He grabs the wrist of the hand holding the knife and puts it back against his skin. "I only want you to do this."

And now Sam's mad. "Why did you tell me that stuff then?" he screams. "Why did you tell me? I know it's true, all of it. How am I supposed to kill you now? Now that I know you-" Sam can't bring himself to say it but it keeps repeating in his head over and over _‘You love me. You love me. You LOVE ME!’_

Sam's forehead rests against his and Lucifer's grip on Sam's wrist tightens, just to the edge of pain. "Because you needed to know, Sam. Now, do what's right, what you've been trying to do this whole time, and kill me. My wings have been torn from me, I've got nothing left. I'm beyond broken and battered. I'm nothing anymore."

Sam shakes his head. "No," he all but whimpers. He can't do this. "Let me..." What? He can't return Lucifer's wings. He can't take away the hurt. He can't do anything.

"Sam," Lucifer sighs, broken and hollow. "My beautiful, perfect Sam. I didn't want any of this." And he lunges, makes to pull the knife from Sam's hand. He's easily over powered without his usual strength and Sam reacts on instinct, just like Lucifer knew he would.

The knife is buried hilt deep into his gut and Sam's holding him. They sink to the ground and Lucifer feels himself smile, just a little. He reaches a shaking hand up and runs his fingers through Sam's hair, something he's wanted to do for a long time, before he cups Sam's face. Sam's eyes are filled with tears that threaten to spill over. Those kind eyes are looking down at him and there is sadness. Lucifer feels himself slipping away. "Thank you Sam," he says, wheezes really. He doesn't have much strength left for words. "I'm sorry for everything." As he feels the last wisps of his Grace surge to the surface he tries to add "I love you" before he is gone.

Sam sees the Grace shimmering in Lucifer's eyes just moments before it's gone. Sam's knocked back a few feet and when he stands over the body Lucifer is gone and there are no wings scorched onto the ground.


End file.
